Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite holidays. That event was always at my parents’ house, and as a kid I remember getting up before dawn on Thursday morning so I could help chop bread and vegetables for stuffing and sides. We would usually have 20 to 30 people, mostly family, but friends of family were always welcome as well. It was never formal. We had tables inside and on the back patio, and people would move around talking and just enjoying each other’s company.
Every year I am truly thankful for family and friends and, let’s be honest … football too. When thinking of Thanksgiving, I remember what I was told as a kid about the Wampanoag people helping the Pilgrims, who were starving and dying, by introducing them to other tribes and helping them to farm and live on the land. Although we now know that is not an entirely accurate depiction of history, I love the idea that we have a holiday celebrating those who took the time to teach others the right way to do things—a holiday that celebrates mentors.
Mentors are amazing people. They are the people who have been there, done that and know what works and what doesn’t.
Mentors are amazing people. They are the people who have been there, done that and know what works and what doesn’t. These people are usually just as busy, if not more, than everyone else, but they have decided to take the time to pass on their knowledge.
The mentor who taught me to find my own style
I was lucky as a young lawyer because I had great mentor who also happened to be my supervising attorney. She had an open-door policy and was always willing to answer questions, but she had a rule that I had to have considered the question and have some idea of what I thought I should do. She taught me how important relationships were. She not only had strong relationships with our clients and customers, but she also maintained good relationships with other lawyers, even opposing counsel. I saw how important those relationships were, particularly in contentious cases, because those are the ones where professionalism and courtesy are needed even more.
Even when I was new and felt like I knew nothing, I never felt like I was going to fail because I knew I had support from my mentor. I had someone whom I could turn to for advice and assistance.
Probably the most important thing I learned is that I needed to figure out my own style as a lawyer. I figured out early that as a short young woman, I would have a harder time than my male counterparts being taken seriously. Because of this, simply trying to mimic what I had seen others do in a courtroom likely wasn’t going to work for me. My mentor shared her experiences in developing a courtroom persona and gave me the space to try different styles as I developed as an attorney. I was lucky to have someone early on help guide me to find my own style while still pushing me to improve.
Pay it forward
Now that I have been practicing for 15 years, I have tried to follow my mentor’s example by mentoring young lawyers with whom I’ve worked, work with now, or even just lawyers I meet who have wanted to pick my brain about something.
There are two formal programs offered through the State Bar to assist with mentoring. The One-to-One Mentoring program and Lawyer Down the Hall program are both great ways to be connected with other lawyers. Whether you are looking for a mentor or to be a mentor, I encourage you to look into these. The Bar will even provide training to help you to get the most out of the experience. If the formal program seems too daunting, though, I still encourage you reach out to either an attorney you respect or a new attorney you have interacted with recently. Taking to time to build relationships, to be a sounding board and to help guide others creates a better legal community for us all. So this Thanksgiving let’s all remember those who helped us learn the ropes, and remember to return the favor.
